SPANning the Freakin' Interwebs

Span span span. The biggest catch-all in HTML/CSS. Youngsters today love to show their wild abandon by splattering this tag around EVERYWHERE!!!! OMI will show you there are very few exceptions to the rule… NEVER USE THIS TAG, LOSER!

Google's Evil Operation

Think of the major players online… Google, Twitter, Facebook… do you think good code standards, technical marketing techniques, or ranking power mean shit to these companies? No. None of them need to rank high or pay for PPC campaigns.

Your Page is Single & Always Will Be

“I can fit our whole workflow in one page! I’m the greatest!!”… says the young punk and his boss that knows nothing. Taking all of your rankable pages of content and shoving them in a code shit ball doesn’t make you smart. SPA is for pussies.

1 Million character count Per Page???

Have you heard of search engines? Do you know you to make money from your app? Is your company spending tens of thousands of dollars a month on PPC because you are a dumbass?

Old Man Internet: The Cries of the Elderly Geeks

Hey Kid! Get Off My Code!!!

A new form of legacy has begun in technology… our second new generation into online development, network expansion, and coding standards. As members of generation 1, we at OMI are increasingly displeased with the lack of teaching and learning about the origins of the World Wide Web, frontend code, structured taxonomy and many more important items that are missed in the current new generation. This site is dedicated to instructing young punks why their code sucks.

Start Learning How Dumb You Are!

Bad Code

Being born yesterday, it is not your fault that you have no idea how bad your code is. Handing JS frameworks to you is like giving an infant a handgun.


In the age of PPC and crawl allowances, you cannot be responsible for the horrid way your frontend code renders to a bot… Isn’t that someone else’s job?

Crimes Against Humanity

Google has spent their entire existence cleaning up your code messes but when they decided to release their own code disasters they became the enemy of all.

Bad Marketing

Lazy little children… “Hey boss man, can I get a raise? I’ve been here 12 days and properly spent your budget on Facebook ads”. Grow up fools and learn your craft.

Fat, Old & Used PINE for Mail?